Marlow won a footy award today - 'Best Clubman' - in the U11s team he plays for.
Almost the exact same award you won ('Best Team Man') at almost exactly the same age (U10s)!
He compared your trophies when he got home.
It was a happy way to finish what was otherwise a very sad day for him without you.
Happy Father's Day Karlos.
xxx
Jules Buxton
06/09/2015
Well old mate, it's been 9 years and in another decade you will have been gone almost as long as I knew you. I came here because a friend of ours was asking about bequeaths. I got side tracked on the site for a moment reading some of the stories and I'm sitting here in a cafe in Williamstown finding myself getting emotional.
You had an impact mate and long may your influence be remembered. The world needs more life loving people like you were.
Jase
Jason Andrew
23/04/2015
Hi Karlos - I'm not sure what drew me to read The Miggy Tree today as it sits on my special shelf next to a photo of you but I suppose I just needed to reconnect. I miss you…..even though over seven years have passed I still think of you and wish you were here…….always fun, non-judgemental and a bloody legend. Hope you are looking down and keeping an eye on us. xxx
Kath Elliott
04/01/2014
Dear Daddy
My friend and I think you are an Invincible Ninja!
I love you.
I joined the Under 10s Red Hill football team 3 weeks ago.
Love from your awesome Marlow
xxxxooooooxxxxxxooooo
Marlow Buxton Yeomans
06/06/2012
Hi Brigdit & Kevin
How wonderful of you to write. Your message gave me a smile. My email address is julie.buxton@miggytree.com.au or you can buy The Miggy Tree online at www.miggytree.com.au. Would love to hear more....
Warm regards
Jules
15/09/2010
My husband Kevin and I were shocked to learn two weeks ago of Karl's passing while searching Facebook. Kevin was unsure of what to say so I shall have a go. Karl flatted with Kevin in Mt Eden Auckland, for many months before moving to Australia in 1999. On reading other tributes we too laughed at `Bring it on` and the mention of him being an amazing cook.` Cooking was not something Karl did well when we knew him and we still have the odd plastic kitchen utensil somewhat melted by his efforts. Yes, Karl could be very naughty too! He loved to ski, and would disappear in his MR2 late at night or in the wee small hours to the mountain. Kevin still laughs when recounting the story of Karl doing a load of washing one day, cramming so much into the machine that that some of the clothes were still bone dry when they came out! It gives us the warm fuzzies to read that Karl experienced the joy of love, marriage and fatherhood,. To Karl's family and friends we are so very sorry to learn of his passing. He may not have had a long life, but he did have a good life, and we were astounded at the photo gallery. We never knew Karl's many talents talked about, and I am desperately trying to source `The Miggy Tree` for Kevin and our three children. Apparently it cannot be sourced in NZ, so perhaps you could let me know how I can obtain this wonderful treasure for my family. `When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart and in truth you will see you are weeping for that which has been your delight.`
Bridgit and Kevin Tarr
01/09/2010
Hi Julie,
We haven't met but I knew Karl quite well through his days at Swedish Match (the Redheads match company in Springvale). We didn't stay in touch, which was always a regret for me. I think Karl was in his late twenties at that stage? I only learned about everything recently. My stupidly late condolences to you and family.
Everyone at that office marvelled at his brain's cpu capacity for spreadsheets together with his nuttiness and that cheeky quixotic smile. Misunderstood and mysterious for sure, but loved. I have only met one person who could kick a football in a corporate office, break the overhead light and pacify the furious MD armed with nothing more than bravado and charismatic charm.
I have a 6 month daughter, and would like her to wear a Miggy Tree t-shirt, and be able to share the book with her. Just wondering if they are still available, and should I just go through the website?
Thanks and regards,
Gab
Gab Aghion
25/08/2010
Happy birthday Karlo - we miss you.
lots of love,
Mig and Nev
xxxxx
Margot Yeomans
26/05/2009
Karlos, time moves on and people move on. It is true that time slowly heals wounds and some of the pain has subsided but it is replaced by an emptiness that one simply has to live with.
I still miss you mate, we all do.
I heard a saying the other day that made me think of you.
`Enjoy your life. It's later than you think.`
Gus
gus berger
24/03/2009
Happy Wedding Anniversary Karlos.
It's hard to fathom that it was three years ago today...
Marlow and I were down at Point Leo on the weekend and he told me he wants to make a sign for you that says this:
`Dear Daddy
It's Marlow's birthday on Friday.
I love you Daddy.
Love Marlow`.
We miss you. Especially today. Especially on Friday. He will be four.
Julesxx
Jules Buxton
05/11/2008
Hey Karl,
I have not been to this website for some time. I think of you often and wonder how you are going. We had a great easter with Jules at Portsea, Xavier Rudd at Point Nepean and Jim's Tuna on the BBQ the highlights. I miss not being able to give you a call and crap on about nothing or be more serious, you were always up for both. I miss your care free attitude and honestly. I miss not being able to watch the footy & cricket with you. I miss your take on things. I like thinking about you, but if I do for too long it makes me too sad (you would tell me to harden the fuck up) I miss you big time mate........
Gus, Jase and I will be having another beer with you soon mate, probably at the GB after the footy.
Stew Collingwood
09/07/2008
Dear Karlos,
It's hard to believe it's been two years since you grew wings and flew away. I still miss you terribly - your crazy antics, your contagious laughter, the fearless and matter-of-fact way you lived your life - and I still laugh about the time you, Jules, Paulie, Jim and I sang with the busker on that street corner in Queenstown - just one of many happy memories I have of you. I hope you know how much you touched my life and how you continue to inspire me to make the most of every day.
Karl, you inspired so many people during your life and what amazes me is that even after your death, you continue to inspire.
One of the most special parts of our wedding ceremony on 15 March 2008 was when Shell read your beautiful words:
"The dream of mine is to exist eternally,
in harmony with nature and to love
without complication and be loved
without complication."
You also inspired some beautiful words from others.
This time last year our family took a trip up to Palm Cove to commemorate your passing. We went to see Xavier Rudd in concert and to a crowd of some 3,000 people he made a special tribute to "the sprit of Karl Yeomans" when introducing his song "Choices", which was inspired by you.
You also inspired some of Jules' friends to write some beautiful words for her. I'd like to share those beautiful words (which provided so much comfort to Jules on the first anniversary of your death) and thank you again for all you gave us in your life and beyond.
Karl, I'll never forget you. And Jules, Marlow and the Yeomans - I am thinking of you today with much love and hope the sun is shining on you.
Susie Buxton
28 April 2008
A message from Paul Hallam for Jules - 28 April 2007
July, the last couple of years have been an extremely tough time; from when Karl was diagnosed, to his passing and the last 12 months. We all miss the mad one; his intelligence, his wicked sense of humour, his crazy and sometimes fucking lunatic ways. But most of all we miss the loved one of our loved ones, Jules and Marlow. Jane and I are sorry that we are not there with you today, but thought it was important to let you how amazing you have been over this time. Amazing in every sense of the word.
Amazing in nursing Karl throughout his illness
Amazing in organising a send off that couldn't have been more fitting
Amazing in being an incredible support to Margot and Neville
Amazing in looking after Marlow and being the most incredible mother to him
Amazing in developing and launching The Miggy Tree
Amazing in keeping Karl's spirit alive
Please know that we are thinking of you, Marlow and Karl. The wonderful union you guys have and the wonderful memories that we all have.
A message from Jim Hains for Jules - 28 April 2007
You carried through the long storm
A strong arm with Marlow
On your hip
Honouring your love and your lover's wish
To breathe his breath on home sheets,
Surrounded by his kin.
Your love did not pass unnoticed
In this life's hectic din.
And now a year has passed;
The tree book is planted.
I already hear the stories
Of young children, enchanted
By the Miggy Tree
And its beautiful branches.
So raise your glass July
To the sunsets and sunrises
To the sun upon your face
To the tears upon your cheek
To singing on street corners
And skiing like a freak.
Raise yourself on the mountain,
Greet the morning sun
Smile at the future
In the knowledge of our love
And the story yet unspun.
A message from Aminah Hart for Jules - 28 April 2007
Now I could never be one to agree
That anything positive comes from the death of a great love
Especially one too young and too soon.
Maybe I will have clearer vision on that notion one day but that day is certainly not today.
But if, for just a moment, I move my thoughts from all that Jules and Marlow have lost
And think instead of what Karl's death 12 months ago has really meant to me
Then perhaps, just perhaps, I can find a ray of light
That ray of light, for me, is friendship
A friendship that was always there
But one that, through our loss and shared experience
Has evolved to have a meaning and understanding that is unique
Because of all you have lost Jules you truly understand
Understand, that when time flies by so quickly,
Taking with it that saddest of days 12 months ago
That you want it to stop, don't want it to go.
Let time stand still, let the intensity remain
For the intensity is the love, and the loss
And the whole beautiful and damned thing.
So let me keep it time, please don't take it away.
And you understand that time itself means something so different now
For all that we're told of time healing
We now know that in truth that has no meaning
Time does not heal for we don't want it to
It merely passes by
Jules you understand what it means to be as happy as happy can be
With tears streaming down your face.
As I write this I'm so happy that you're my friend
But the tears stream down my face
For the time that has passed
And taken your great love away.
Now I could never be one to agree
That anything positive comes from the death of a great love
Especially one too young and too soon
But if just for a moment, I can be selfish
Then I am moved to say
Thank you Jules for giving me your indelible friendship and understanding
And thank you Karl for giving Jules the understanding to be the friend I need.
Thinking of you today
And with love always.
A message from Paul Hanrahan (Hannas) for Jules and Marlow, and the Yeomans and Buxton clans - 28 April 2007
I don't need to tell you what a special person Karl was. You already know this in more ways than I could possibly describe. But I would like to share with you an experience that I had with Karl, that made me realise how much empathy, care and concern he had for others despite the challenges he was facing himself.
It was an evening back at the Buxton beach house on the day of the Portsea Polo in mid January 2006. I had just been released from hospital the previous day, having spent a week in Cabrini suffering severe abdominal pain. I was due for a procedure the following week and was sweating on the results of some tests that had so far proved inconclusive. I couldn't drink that day, but decided to take my mind off things by spending it among good friends as we all celebrated another joyous occasion. It's nice to sit back and observe the later evening antics of laughter and pranks among the group but it's more fun when you are joining in. I wasn't joining in, and Karl sensed this. He was the life of the party that night but stepped out of this role to take me quietly aside.
We left the group and spoke privately for almost an hour. He said that he knew that I was worried about my health and reassured me that everything would be alright. "I know what you're going through Hannas, I know that you're worried and I know that you're scared. But don't be. You will be okay, I promise. And if you're not happy with the findings, then give me the test results and I'll get Dad to take a look. He's the best Gastroenterologist in the world."
I still reflect on how much empathy, selflessness and genuine concern he had for my welfare. This at a time when he was dealing with far more pressing concerns himself, he was more interested in the wellbeing of others. I will never forget this.
Susie Buxton - 28/04/2008
28/04/2008
G'day KP, happy birthday - as was our want in the past, around May each year, we wended our way back from the States just in time for your birthday - and although you aren't here we did see some beautiful white clouds as we were flying and thought that you might be sitting with Nan on one of them - there were some particularly smooth ones that looked just like a ski slope - maybe you might have had a bit of a ski on it later on.
Well Jules and the Rok might be having a beer to celebrate your birthday but dad saluted your birthday this morning by putting cointreau in our orange juice - possibly a little early to be imbibing but very nice never the less!
I was remembering your very first birthday in Copenhagen - what a cute little fellow you were - we had a party for you and Roxane ate too many lollies and was sick!
Now that it is 6pm I think we should toast you again (without the orange juice this time!).
Love you lots and miss you heaps
Mig and Nev
xxx
26/05/07
Mummy Mig and Daddio
26/05/2007
Rox - your guy in the bar forgot the most important one - have a beer when you have to have a beer - but I guess that goes without saying, particularly as you were in a bar....
Karlos, happy birthday beautiful thing. I'm having a cascade pale ale in your honour up in Palm Cove. Marlow is having just a teeny sip too. No apologies :-)
xo
jules
26/05/2007
Dear Karlos,
Happy Birthday little brother. It's still pretty sad without you. I keep waiting to get wiser and stronger - isn't that what sadness is supposed to do to you? It isn't happening yet. I met a guy in a bar in Boston and he summed it up the best. He said not to bother trying to look for the deep meaning, rather, you just cry when you have to cry, laugh when you have to laugh, and never apologise. I thought you would appreciate that.
lots of love,
Rocky xxx
26th May 2007
Roxane Horton
26/05/2007
The Gilded Road
Your parents are on all fours
Shackled by invisible chains
They are paving a road
of gold and silver bricks.
Backs arched, aching limbs
The sun beats down on their faces.
The heat tears at their faces like a wild animal.
They are whimpering silently.
You walk upon the embellished road.
Slowly, leisurely.
The road guides you along
As it is made right before your eyes.
The road is just so beautiful, perfectly planned -
One of the wonders of the world.
It distresses you to see them ragged, straining.
You want them to stop.
You beg them to rest.
They are deaf and adamant.
They are singing and whistling.
They conceal their pain
Of breaking backs and bleeding fingers.
They sing for your comfort.
The road is flawless.
It cuts through the dense undergrowth.
No trips, no uneven steps
You cannot fall.
You are holding the chains;
The road is only for you to walk on.
Winner of the inaugural Karl Yeomans Poetry Prize, Scotch College
Derek Tsang
19/04/2007
Almost a year on and we are all looking a year older, but not you Karl, time stopped for you in our world when you looked great and now I know you are in a peter pan state where ever you are skiing or kicking pot plants (wasn't that fun) to let off some steam.
Your tree at the Oaks is also due for it's first birthday and I am sure you have been watching it flourish in the drought and look as masculine as ever!
Everyone has survived this year your beautiful wife has been an inspirtation to all. Marlow is still learning about you and Jules is making sure your memory surrounds him - even when it hurts too much.
Your boy is doing so well ,Fleur is teaching him all about girls!! and how sharing and sleeping are not important skills for toddlers but screaming and saying no are.
I am convinced you can see everything that is going on down here, I know you are so proud of Jules and Marlow and will watch over them always.
The coming year will be full of more growing for our little ones and many more lines on the faces of mothers, your memory will again be top of mind for so many of us and I do hope we do you proud by watching over your beautiful wife and son down here.
Love and smiles always, Nazzie XXOO
Anna Sutherland
18/04/2007
Almost a year on and we are all looking a year older, but not you Karl, time stopped for you in our world when you looked great and now I know you are in a peter pan state where ever you are skiing or kicking pot plants (wasn't that fun) to let off some steam.
Your tree at the Oaks is also due for it's first birthday and I am sure you have been watching it flourish in the drought and look as masculine as ever!
Everyone has survived this year your beautiful wife has been an inspirtation to all. Marlow is still learning about you and Jules is making sure your memory surrounds him - even when it hurts too much.
Your boy is doing so well ,Fleur is teaching him all about girls!! and how sharing and sleeping are not important skills for toddlers but screaming and saying no are.
I am convinced you can see everything that is going on down here, I know you are so proud of Jules and Marlow and will watch over them always.
The coming year will be full of more growing for our little ones and many more lines on the faces of mothers, your memory will again be top of mind for so many of us and I do hope we do you proud by watching over your beautiful wife and son down here.
Love and smiles always, Nazzie XXOO
Anna Sutherland 19.4.07
18/04/2007
Dear Karlos
You would have been so proud of Jules and the Miggy Tree book launch. Your Miggy Tree poem has been given life, in an incredibly beautiful book. It is a amazing.
I know I am thinkiing of you alot at the moment as I reflect on life and the things that have happened and should not have happened over the past 12 months or so.
I am so happy to know that you are skiing down a fast run early in the morning, I am sure it is a sunny day and you probably have a hangover!!
Have a ski for me, and I will have a drink to you. Liese xx
Annelies Turnbull (Berger)
12/04/2007
Jules Buxton
28/03/2007
Karlos,
Last month, I took an extra few days off work after a conference in Cannes and headed up to the local mountain, Isola Deux Mil. It had been snowing all that week and the forecast was good. I went up with a French guy called Ludo and this was his local.
I woke that morning to find cars with at least a foot of snow on their roofs and the sun was shining. I hired some gear and off we went.
Ludo was an excellent snowboarder and knew all the good runs. We flew around that moutain that day Karl, with fast turns and even faster tucks. On the chairlifts going up we would talk about travelling, relationships, philosophy not to mention various funny and amusing times.
I was reminded alot of you over these two days in the mountains Karl. I have such good memories of the times we had skiing in Vail, St Anton, Mt Hutt and Mt Buller. You were pretty much fearless, fast, good in powder, OK on bumps and simply loved being in the moutains.
Do you remember getting stoned in Vail then finding deep powder in between the tress? Getting the first, fast run down Northwards? Having that first beer in Garfinkels after a days skiing?
I do mate. Great memories.
gus
14/03/2007
dear karl
i think of you all the time, stripy socks though not the ones with separated toes, out door tunes and costal chill, the green eski bag and grey folding seat on the deck at red hill, your miggy tree mum, watching cricket on the couch, spiky black beards that come and go, the fast red merc, the dirt car track project and your deck design that included hammock posts are some of the things.
your boy is a ripper, he is his own little man, but is more like you every day. i think jubes is going to be ok, you probably knew that. she is very brave.
sometimes i have a little cry for you in the night.
we miss your fun stuff.
fitz x
nic fitzpatrick
08/03/2007
Our last two Australia Days were spent in Sydney with Karl, Jules and gorgeous little Marlow. We'll drink to you on Friday Karl and play some Xavier Rudd.
You're greatly missed.
Love Mills and Si
Jeannine Lewis
23/01/2007
Hello Karl, I know you aren't actually reading this but a letter seems an easier way to write! But then again, perhaps you are reading it??
With Christmas only around the corner, I have been remembering ones past, when you and Roxane were young.
You eating the glass baubles from the Christmas tree when you were a tiny boy and making angels in the snow when we lived in Boston. You and Roxane being scared of the Father Christmas Unce Ken and Aunty Margaret had coming down their chimney and all you could see were his red legs and black boots.
Me always buying you and Roxane a box of Collard and Bowser nougats - I don't think they make them anymore, although I found something similar that I was going to send to Roxane but she said it would be too sad. You and Roxane opening the presents you had for each other on Christmas Eve, despite my protests! You and Roxane promising to go to the early morning church service with Mama on Christmas Day, then having to be forced out of bed because you'd been out late the night before imbibing in some (a lot perhaps?) Chritsmas cheer.
I can't tell you how much it would mean to have your special kind of Chrismas magic around this year, but I know I can't - but do you know, although I can barely think of you not being with us all Dad and I are hugely sustained by the magic you have left behind - Marlow and Jules.
All our love to you our son from your Miggy Tree Mum and Dad (not that he has had any input into this, but I think he'd be happy as long as I remembered to put the apostrophes in the right place!) xxx
His Mum
20/12/2006
We may have never been close as far as kilometers are concerned, but our spirit was always close.
I only knew you for a short time, but your friendship, wit, honesty and above all straightforwardness will be with me forever.
Sometimes in life friendships are cut short, but know this my good friend, you have never left omy heart.
No goodbyes. Only good times.
Andrew Kingston
31/08/2006
I can't remember how I first met Karl. He was just one of those people that seem to appear in your consciousness sometime in your teens. When I went to Monash Uni to study Arts I found ally in Karl. I was immediately drawn to his irrevent spirit, his forthrightness and his laid back attitude. We had a great time together, having left the confines of the school environment to throw ourselves head first into the freedom and relatively hedonistic university lifestyle. We studied together and partied together (not in the balance that our parents might have hoped for), and I knew that I could always rely on Karl to help in both areas.
When studying sociology, we had different tutors and decided to fast track an assignment by submitting idential papers, bar the introduction and conclusion. Karl's disbelief that I passed and he failed never diminished.
Our friendship lasted many years and many continents. Somewhere along the way though, we lost contact for a while and I will always be grateful to Karl and more particularly, Julie for inviting me back into their lives as Karl became ill.
Karl, thank you for being such a great mate.
25/8/06
Odette Kerr
25/08/2006
Karl
I am sitting here on the couch after speaking to Kate Collingwood who told me about this website. Firstly I apologise for any spelling mistakes as I am a hopeless typer. The stories here are amazing - I have spent the whole time crying .. no doubt you are looking down at me as though I am a complete fruitcake....
Jules and Stew, Gus and Jason (and everyone else) so aptly describe you; When I was asked to contribute something to the book about you I found it so hard to sum my memories of you up in just a few paragraphs and no doubt they did you no justice at all. Needless to say, you are an individual, a character and a wonderful friend and loving husband and father. I was not a close friend of yours but I always enjoyed catching up with you. Thanks for all the laughs over many years; I always loved our chats.
Jules you are brave, loving and completely gorgeous. What a wonderful wife and mother - I would love to catch up with the kids or for a drink if you ever feel like it.
Ros James x
Ros James
13/07/2006
Karlos,
Life is certainly full of twists and turns, and I am very grateful that we crossed paths, albeit, regrettably, for what was only a short time. As everyone does in life, I wonder what it is all about sometimes. We go to work, we get married, we have kids, we buy a house and so and so on. We are driven by all sorts of motivations, some good, some bad, but what does it all mean? I think about this question all the time.
I believe that life is about not being afraid to take risks and being able to look life in the face and say I don't care what you throw at me, but in my pursuit to live life to the fullest I will take whatever steps and risks I need to take so that I can be truly happy. How many times do we all fail in pursuit of this ideal. We let life and its pitfalls stop us from truly being happy, I know I have been guilty of doing this.
Not you mate. Since all the time I've known you, you've showed real strength in being able to accept failure as a possible outcome and this is why I respected you so much as a person. You were never one to shirk life, you didn't tolerate bullshit, you were always pushing life to the limit - even in the face of real danger. You faced your fears head-on and dare I say even relished them. This is what made you different and special, you didn't only talk the talk but you walked the talk.
Even in the face of your greatest challenge, you took it head-on, without any regret, without any fear, without any blame, and to this end I am in awe of you. Many people in your situation would have just given up, too scared to face their predicament and just let life slip by. You fought to the very end, you lived life to the fullest with your family and friends and you reminded me and us all of how short and precious life really is.
I still remember what Julesy said at your funeral, that you accepted your fate as neither good nor bad, it just was as it was. This is someone who truly was at peace with themselves and the universe, so very very amazing.
Thanks for all the great times and memories mate, you are and will always be an inspiration to your family and friends and you have reinforced to me yet again that life is here to be lived, enjoyed, and soaked up to the full. We will all die at some time but I would rather go knowing that I gave life a good crack, no a great crack, just like you did, rather than just letting it slip by without a whimper - and for this lesson I thank you very much.
See you around my friend,
Paulos
28-06-06
Paul De Matteo
28/06/2006
Jules Buxton
26/06/2006
Karl is still on my mind time to time. I thought I saw him sitting under a tree when I was driving home one afternoon.He was just there, pondering up at it. When I got to this website and saw the poem on the Miggy Tree I just smiled with a sort of knowing. I wasn't surprised by the coincidence. It just fitted the nature of the poem and the nature of Karl. I never got to know him well as a close friend or anything. We has some time together in Auckland and Melbourne in about 1996. Thats when he wrote the poem isn't it? There's another wee coincidence! But I was always really happy to hang out with him when I saw him. I didn't know he was such a genius until his father described more about him at the funeral. It was after that a lot of things about him made sense. He could seem way ahead of you, and never had to justify a certain reproach toward me for saying or doing something totally stupid. He knew I'd come around to seeing that for myself, only after much more laborious self-examination. So it was a character thing with Karl that I liked. He'd been to Tibet and conquered some height on this rock of ours. But he'd been there in his mind and conquered stuff it takes the average man a lifetime to do. By the end of his journey Karl was a master of humilty and meekness. No wonder he has so many close friends and family in tears all day. As his father said, he was fearless. How wonderful is that? Cheers Karl, many fond and living memories of you.
James Horton
23/06/2006
Hi Karlos
There are two occasions I recall immediately when I think of you. The weekend Suze, Caz Penfold, you and I spent at Portsea many, many years ago where we spent the whole weekend laughing, mostly at the banter that transpired between you and Suze, or we all just laughed at you! You included! It was great. Also, your wedding day; thanks for asking me, I was touched by the invitation - what an occasion!
I didn't get to see you very often over the years, but stories of your tales always filtered back to me through Suze and I really enjoyed the outrageousness of your adventures!! I always wished I had been there to see them.
Ironically, I have seen you many times since the day we all let the balloons go up in the sky. I have seen you in the profile of a stranger at the airport, I've seen you in the eyes of a man at the Post Office and I've seen you in the smile of a little boy at the Supermarket.
You're still here with us Karlos and that's the most fantastic thing.
KG xo
Katie George
21/06/2006
To my nephew, Marlow
BETTER MAN
It was the night that your dad died, a few of the crew, including your mum, had assembled with aunty Fi Fi and me at our house in Malvern.
Someone coined the phrase, in relation to you on that day, `Marlow is the one that knows the least but has probably lost the most` ...bang on the money I thought.
As I explored my own feelings at the time, I realised that you were the little bloke who was indeed the big loser. You were of course, on that day, unwittingly relogated to a life with out your dad.
So the purpose of this short passage is to, for a moment, consider what this means for you and what, if anything, we can do to make your predicament a little better.
First of all, it was not long ago that aunty FiFi insisted I read a book called `Manhood` by Steve Biddulph. After quickly getting over my anxiety of needing to read such a book, becuase it clearly meant she thought I was not a man.....I read it...cover to cover in one sitting becasue I could not put it down.
In simple terms, Biddulph describes the modern day phenomena of the `fatherless boy`. That is, a boy who goes through his life without a positive male influence and role model. He breaks this down in to three categories. 1. Absent father 2. Weak Father and 3. Deceased Father..
Biddulph describes some pretty amazing concepts, all of which I really related to and consequently became a believer in his thesis. It was, for me, the single most important book I have ever read.
The message, in simple terms, is that a boy needs his dad. Despite what we think of our dad and despite that we may think that he taught us nothing...the truth is that everything we do know about 'being a man' we almost certainly learned from him.
Biddulph explains that the modern human society has lost the fundamental system that was once always the case... in the tribal or stone age era...that is, that little boys were raised by their father, in conjunction with many other men of many other ages in the tribe. That way, the little boy had a range of influences and opinions from a wide varity of men from which he could ultimately form his own view of how to 'become a man'.
The problem, Biddulph contends, is that in modern times this has changed profoundly to the complete reverse, whereby boys are now almost entirely raised by their mothers and, in their formative years, spend little or no time with thier dads.
That is obviously not to say that the mothers' role is unimportant...it is simply to say that the fathers' role is essential.
So Marlow, I have sent this message out to all the men who are close to your mum.... in the belief that they might have something positive to offer you in the 'manhood' stakes, no matter how insignificant they reckon that thing is, and I have challenged them with this simple proposition:
When you next go fishing - throw a rod in for Marlow
When you next go camping - grab a sleeping bag for Marlow
When you next go four wheel driving -
save a seat for Marlow
...and when Marlow grows up and he is approaching puberty and wants to know about the 'birds and the bees'...well, keep him away from Simmo........kidding......when you turn 18, I will explain why that was quite funny.
So to all the men who read this,....it doesn't really matter what it is you do, having positive male influence in Marlow's life will help him in to 'manhood' and improve upon his life quality in a way that no female can do on her own...not even Jules!
...and to you Marlow, when you finally read all of this....I am certain that, with a bit of help from a few of us, you will no doubt become as good a man as your old man was....but, with a little bit of help from all of us, you may become an even better man...and that would indeed be a magnificent day.
Love you pal
Uncle Andy
Andy Buxton
I miss you my son and all your fun.
Lots of love,
Your Miggy Tree Mum xx
Margot Yeomans
I met you once Karlos, dropping Suze off in Ohakune for a skiing adventure with you and your very pregnant Jules. You had sideburns for Africa and you were fumbling around with the stereo while we were trying to pour a glass of wine.
It was too brief, but atleast I got a glimpse of you eventhough I knew then , as I know now more than ever before what a wonderful friend, husband and father you have been within the Buxton clan.
So I'm writing a line or two and encourage all your friends and family to do too - as I think in some way it will be a comfort to you all in years to come - to share the stories and the laughs - the moments and the hours.
I've been told what Karl would say `C'mon bring it on` - so C'mon everyone bring it on - so that this very special man in yet another way still lives on.
My heart goes out to everyone who is trying to make sense of this.
Out of the trough - into the sky - fly high Karlos.
Paula - Suze's good friend in NZ
This son of ours
`I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine,` He said,
`For you to love, the while he lives, and mourn for when he's dead.
It may be six or seven years or thirty two or three,
But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?
He'll bring his charms to gladden you, and should his stay be
brief,
You'll have his lively memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,
But there are lessons, taught down there I want this Son to learn.
I've looked this wide world over in my search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes, I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love nor think the labour vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call him back again?
I fancied that I heard them say `Dear Lord, your will be done,
For all the joy your gift shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness, we'll love him while he may,
And for the happiness we've known, forever grateful stay.
But should the angels call for him much sooner than we've
planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.
Author unknown
Karlos
I trust you are skiing madly through the steep and deep on a blue sky day.
Thanks for the laughs and for your courage and joy in the face of illness - inspiring work.
love
Jim
Mate, I will never forget the last smile you gave me...
It was when I relayed the fact that 'Dizzy' Gollespi had just made 200 not out...
...and if you can believe that, well you truely can believe anything...
Love you brother
Andy
Andy Buxton
Suze Buxton
Jason Andrew
i love you little freak xx
jules buxton
Adam Barnett
Karl was a good mate of mine, from school days. Our friendship continued through university, work and travel times away. We spent a lot of time together in the mid 90's when we we both had time on our hands. Our friendship was built on respect, and having a good time together. In the last couple of years we would catch up for lunch when we both worked in the city.
My best memories of Karl are when I would go to his place in Richmond, Sth Yarra, Camberwell and we would hang out playing cricket in the backyard, having a kick of the footy or throwing a frisby at a close by park.
Karl was a loyal mate who enjoyed his friends company and was the first one up for some shenanigans.
We shared many a session at the GB in Richmond when invariably one of us would be asked to exit.
Karl was always up for session at the footy, cricket or rugby, he would barrack with gusto.
Karl was a great mate who I will miss sorely. He still owes me lunch!
Take it easy lopez.
Cheers
Stew
Stewart Collingwood
